THE REAR VIEW MIRROR THEORY

CONFUSIONS OF THE INDIAN GROOM.

And they live happily ever after........

I was about to go to sleep and I got a call on my cell phone. I looked at who was calling and if it was not for one of my best friends, I was not going to answer it. He gave me a call at a late hour so it had to be something important I knew that. I was just worried he had not landed up in a problem. “Kunal, you awake buddy. I need to give you news.” “I am all ears. What is it?”

“Buddy I am engaged.” I just could not help it and started laughing aloud. “You got to be kidding me dude are you serious.”  I asked him. He then said it again “Dude I am damn serious man. I am engaged.” I congratulated him and after crackling a few “buddy jokes”, I hung up. I was very happy for him no doubt about it. However, what he said kept me thinking throughout the night. He told me “Dude, I guess it’s high time even you think about getting married and settle down in life. Remember you had once told us that it is your plan to get married by 27 so that when you retire your first kid, is settled in life. You had made so many practical plans dude.” I couldn’t reply anything to him at that time, and changed the topic and ended the phone call in a hurry.

I am 28. I had a plan laid out about getting married and settling by 27. It was a practical plan laid out on practical balances of retirement and other such stuff. However, I had forgotten to take the human factor in me into account. At 23, I am out of college and doing a decent job. My ambitions however do not allow me to stick to the job. I wanted to be a businessperson and I entered into business when I was 24. By 25, I was stable in business. So as it happens with in all Indian families, my parents, relatives and everyone around started paving my way to the stage of marriage in my life.

There was nothing wrong with it. But, I have been through enough heart breaks in life to give into a marriage so easily. I had a huge list of questions in my mind. When I placed my fears in the open people told me I am out of my mind and that things don’t happen in this manner and also that I should be stupid to have such fears. At a point of time, I thought maybe they were right.

The truth is this isn’t just my problem it’s the problem with everyone around is what I realized when I spoke to others of my age and people who are also at the same point in life.

1.)         How can I judge someone just meeting them once?

2.)         How can I judge that person she will of course behave in a manner as instructed by her parents.

3.)         How will I come to know what she actually likes, wouldn’t it be a perfected script she would be reading to me.

4.)         Would she be practical enough to understand my business my work so that I can enroll her with me to help me and to guide me when I need.

5.)         Will she be mature or childish?

6.)         What would her brains be like I mean smart intelligent or a dumbo who just wants to be in the kitchen and just cook.

7.)         Will she be adventurous and like taking risks in life.

8.)         Will she back me up with her confidence or will I have to be the strong shoulder.

9.)         Can I cry in front of her if the time be or will I be the one to always console her.

10.)  Will she be nagging like other wives

11.)  Will she not like if I drink occasionally with friends.

12.)  What would be her moods like expressions like.

13.)  What would be her thought process when it comes to LOVE

14.)  Can I trust her when she says that she is no more thinking about her EX

15.)  Is she carrying on with someone right now and she is just here because her parents had forced her.

Many such questions with no answers at all. I am still looking for the answers but I have still not found any perfect solutions. These are just the 15 common questions I believe everyone has. Gosh.!!!! Guys who have found their beaus either by way of falling in love or simple arranged marriage, I guess these guys are lucky because these questions no longer trouble them. Guys younger to me are also lucky because their time has yet not come. But me Man I must say I am out for a huge huge hunt that isn’t that easy. Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best.