My dad passed away on the night of 18th October 2018. I loved him the most after all he was my best friend. He had faith in me and my dreams. Today I do not feel his physical presence around me but spiritually I am still connected to his soul. This wrapper theory would not have been possible without him. He always taught me things in a different manner and he always encouraged me to be myself/. Remember friends and readers life is too short. Do not complicate it do not crib about problems unsolved because that will lead you nowhere be positive and handle everything with a smile. I dedicate this to my dad today.
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Many of the issues in life are pretty simple, but we humans have an amazing art of complicating things. We are so addicted to being accustomed to stress that when there is no stress in our life we become even stressed about it. In my years of observing people and reading their behaviors I have come across many such examples.
I am now working on my new company and I am always very busy with its work. I mostly travel. My counselling work and writing blogs had taken a backseat. Day in and day out I am busy with marketing and sales strategies and understanding the product line and the market strategies.
I was having my dinner and got a call from a friend. She sounded a little sad. I told her I would meet her at our regular coffee joint after dinner. I did not ask her what she was sad about. Basically after years of reading behaviors and observing people you develop the knack to know what is troubling them without even asking them.
We met at the regular coffee joint. We brought a cup of coffee and were sitting in one corner sipping it. She had a sip and started talking, “Kunal, I am not happy with my life. I cannot figure out the solutions to the issues in my life, my career, love life, health everything has gone for a toss. Parents are pressurizing me to get married but in that so called arrange marriage sector also I am getting rejected almost by all the proposals I seek. Seriously how does someone live such a life and not get angry or stressed. I am not at all happy; I am a loser, feeling totally useless.” Saying this she started crying. I held her palm to calm her down. I took a deep breath. I wanted to explain to her one fact of life but in my style something unique.
“You just sit here I will be right back I feel like having a Happy dent (chewing gum).” She did not say anything and sat there. I brought some 5 of those and placed them on the table. “Have one if you like.” She half-heartedly took one and started opening the wrapper. She could not open the wrapper .She was already stressed she just threw it on the table frustrated; she then picked up another one and tried to open the wrapper again. This one opened she put the chewing gum in her mouth and started chewing. I did not say anything. We then finished our coffee and went out. We mounted my bike and rode off. After riding for some while I stopped the bike. We got down. She was still sad frustrated and had a small hint of tears in her eyes. “So you threw the happy dent on the table.” I asked. She looked at me with surprise and frustration and said, “I cannot believe it Kunal I am here with a serious problem and all you are worried about is the happy dent.” “That happy dent is the solution to all your problems.” I said. She was more surprised, “How is it the solution to all my problems? It is just a mint chewing gum.” I smiled. “What happened when you could not open the wrapper of the happy dent?” I asked. “Yeah fine I threw it away and you felt bad sorry about it ok now can we focus on the solution part.” She said in an angry tone. “You just laid down the solution my friend, you just put down half of it though. Tell me exactly what you did when you could not open the wrapper of the happy dent.” I said. “I threw the happy dent on the table picked up another one and opened it and ate it.” She said. “Now the solution is laid down completely in front of you.” I said. She was still confused. “You know what the problem is you guys want everything complicated. You even want a solution to be complicated to believe that it will work out. Frankly that is not the truth. Life is pretty simple, if you have the correct perception to look at it. You could not open the wrapper you threw it away and picked up another one opened it and ate it. It’s that simple. You have a problem in life you try finding the solution to it, but somehow you are not able to find the solution. You stick to it. That is your problem. Throw it pick up another one open it and eat it that is how problems are solved. Pick up another problem find a solution to it; I am pretty sure you will be able to fix that one at least. If you are not able to solve that one then pick another one, do not waste time in finding solutions which you do not have right now, finish with the problems to which you have solutions right away, solutions to the unsolved problems will present itself to you in the right time. Remember problems are like uninvited guests, they will never ask your permission for a good time to drop by. As you entertain the unwanted guest, entertain the problem for some while if it is not solved sleep over it and go to the next one.” I silently now looked at her. Tears now gone away and some sense settling in. She then asked me, “What about the problem I left unsolved?” “As I said solution will show up at the right time then you can get back to the problem and solve it, but trust me these problems are so keen about loyalty if you are not loyal to them, they prefer walking away from your life.” I giggled. “Okay jokes apart, some problems automatically get solved when you are solving other problems, some become so unimportant that you just forget them and move on and some they decide to walk away and sometimes you will realise there was no problem at all, and it was just a smoke screen created by your stress.” She now understood what I meant. “But what if it is an urgent problem and I do not have solution to it right then and there?” She asked. “Ok, let’s assume that we are here and the fuel in bike is empty, we have to urgently reach home, and what do we do? I give you three solutions 1. We take a cab. 2. We wait for someone to give us a lift. 3. We drag the bike and keep walking towards our houses.” I asked. “Of course we take a cab, if that is not available we take a lift and the worst case scenario we drag the bike.” She said. “See you had a solution to the urgent problem in the exact chronology of ease. Every problem has a solution and every problem will present to you with options of ease and hard way out. In the given situation you first decided to take a cab easy way out, if not the cab take a lift a little difficult but comparatively easy way out and the final hard way out drag the bike. Each situation in life will give you such solutions you decide which one you like.” I said. She was now calm. “Which one would you choose Kunal in the given situation?” “I would of course drag the bike, everyone knows how much I love my bike.” We both laughed. She hugged me and cried. “Remember life is very easy and very beautiful love it and it will love you back dear friend. Now smile, because a smile gives you all the confidence you need.”
I wish people understood such simple things in life, there would be lesser agony and pain in the world.
Tuesday, July 3, 2018
Dreams, according to psychology and psychiatry an imbalance in the brain that projects the subconscious mind or feelings when we are sleep. Philosophers call it the motive of life. Spiritual Gurus call it signs from God. As for me, my definition cannot fit the words so I won’t even try it. Over the years, life has become too much of a competition rather than an experience. I am not against it. I love competition myself. For all those saying, just enjoy the experience and do not run in the rat race, well for those I would say, it’s a rate race when you do not have an ambition or goal, for the ones who ambitions and goals it is the only thing they will live for. This ambition or goal becomes their meditation, their peace and their life path. They are defined by it.
“It is a pathetic feeling when anyone around you does not understand your dreams and do not even relate to them. All they do is either discourage you or laugh at you.” She was very angry, my friend. Looking at her anyone would think that today she may kill someone. I did not waste time the moment she called me. Over the phone I could deduce that she is very angry and disappointed. So I came by immediately. When I entered her room I could see her very angry and just pacing up and down the room. “Preeti, what has happened? Why did you call me so urgently? Why are you so angry and over what?” I asked her. I grabbed the chair nearby and sat on it. She looked at me in frustration. “Why can’t the world understand that a person needs to fulfil his or her dreams and they are doing nothing wrong in it, why cannot they have faith in my dreams, my parents? Besides even my friends are advocating the idea of giving up my dream. Why is it so difficult for them to understand?” Ok so now I know that this is nothing new. She was going through the same issue that millions of people are going through especially when it comes to choosing their careers or doing something different in life. I had developed a theory on this many years back and did have a solution to this.
“Do you have your purse around?” I asked her. “Kunal, I am in no mood to go out right now. If you think that going out for either a coffee or may be a movie would cheer me up, then you are wrong, I am seriously very angry and frustrated right now.” She said. “Dumbo! I don’t need your purse for that just tell me is it around.”
I told her. “Yes there on the table beside you.” I picked up her purse got a coin out of it. She was confused as to what I was doing, but then I am known amongst my friends to do weird experiments to make them understand things. “One problem at a time my friend is how we will do it.” I said. “Now look at the coin carefully, just the side facing you and do not think of the side facing me. What do you see?” I said. “I see the engravings of Rupees 2 on it, along with the year and other stuff.” “Good, now what if I say it’s not a 2 rupee coin and it’s a 5 rupee coin.” I asked her. “Then I would say you have lost it. I can clearly see it’s a 2 rupee coin.” She said. “Exactly, I cannot see the side you are seeing so I could be wrong about the coin, but you see it so you are right. People, your parents, friends and relatives do not see your side of the dream hence they could be wrong about your dream, but only you see your side of the dream so you are right about it. This is the reason why people do not understand or support your dream because they haven’t seen the other side. But again, you haven’t seen their side of the coin and hence you feel no one understands you, everyone is against you. The point is you have to see both the sides. Only then, it could be balanced.” She now understood what I meant to say. “But Kunal what if I see the other side and come to know that my dream was wrong and their analysis was right.” She asked. “Well, do you see the dream as closely as this coin? Is it as real for you as this coin? Can you feel it?” I asked. “Yes.” She said. “Then my friend how can you be wrong. The coin is of 2 rupees. Your dream is not wrong. Your dream is not unachievable if you see it this close. There two kinds of dreams realistic and unrealistic. If you say I will be king one day and do nothing about it that is an unrealistic dream. If you have such a dream I would say it is stupid to dream of becoming a king. If you say I dream to becoming a king by working in this manner or working hard or doing this business or conquering that land with my efforts, then I would say it is a dream which is actually a reality of the future, that dream is achievable. So first ask yourself which kind of dream are you carrying on your shoulders, if you are carrying the correct one then it would be real fun to fight the world for it. Make sure the coin is of 2 rupees my friend before fighting.” She had calmed down now. She slowly understood my point. “But Kunal what if even after understanding their point of view, they still don’t understand mine. Shall I give up on the dream or shall I give up on them.” She asked. “Will you be able to buy anything with this coin if I just give you one side of it? Will it be still valuable?” I asked. “No.” She replied. “Exactly, a dream has to be nurtured by both sides. Both sides are equally important. You should not give up on your dream or either on your people. Remember, this isn’t a movie where you walk away all alone to achieve something. It is real life my friend and here man is a social animal. No dream will ever come true without taking help or taking guidance. Efforts would be put by you but your dream would be achieved by you, with your parents and friends as a team. Team work always pays off. Tell me why do you see the denomination of the coin so clearly?” I asked. “It is too close to my eyes.” She said. “That is what you have to do, take the dream close to their eyes for them to see it as clearly as you see it. Involve them in your decisions rather than excluding them. Make them feel what you feel, make them experience your dream through your eyes and in turn see their side from their eyes.” “I guess you are right. It is not that difficult. Even if it is, it’s worth a try, and yes, as you always keep quoting ‘Never be the slave of your destiny, make your destiny your slave.’ I would do that. But Kunal I would need your help. Tell me are you on my side?” She asked. I smiled, “Look closely what am I doing?” I asked. “You are holding the coin for me.” She smiled. She hugged me. “Remember we learnt in Economics at school that human wants are unlimited.” I asked. “Yes.” She said. “My friend if you lose a dream or do not achieve it do not give up never be disheartened. Remember just like human wants, human dreams are also unlimited. So if one dream shatters, cry it out, have your dinner, go to sleep, and I promise you the next morning a new dream will be waiting for you to take you on a new adventure in life.” “You never give up do you Kunal” “Never ever in my life.”
Do not give up on your dreams remember to see the coin clearly and bring it closer to ones who want to see it clearly and dreams will be achieved. This goes out to all my teenage readers who are now entering into their college days. All the best and do your best. Have faith first in self and then in God remember he is holding the coin for all of us.
Sunday, March 18, 2018
After a tiring day at work and some burying of memories I was about to sleep, when I got a call on my phone. I answered the phone. “Mr. Kunal Patrawala?” asked the man on the other side. “Yes” I replied. “My client would want to meet you in person. I am waiting with the car below your apartment. If you could be kind enough to come with me my client would be happy.” He said. “What is this about?” I asked. “It has been brought to my client’s notice that you are a very good counselor and he has some issues which he wants to discuss with you. He is badly in need of you.” It was around 11. P.M in the night, I was a little hesitant to go. “It’s too late. Would it be fine if I meet your client tomorrow in the day time?” I asked. “I am afraid that won’t be possible. He has to leave tomorrow. He has just got tonight to talk to you.” “I do not handle clients at this late hour. If your client cannot meet me tomorrow then I guess he may have to meet up some other counselor where ever he is going. I am not an expert in my field there others too.” I replied. I was actually not in the favour of going. “Well, Kunal it is really very important otherwise my client would not have disturbed you so late in the night.” He said. I gave it a thought and decided to just go down and meet the person. If he really would be a serious case I would help or else would just deny any further assistance.
I got dressed up in my normal attire of a jeans and a t-shirt and went down. There was a limousine standing right in front of my gate. At any other time I would have been impressed but not today. There were two men standing at the back door of the limo in a standard security posture. One of the men opened the back door, “My client is waiting.” He said. I could recognise that he was the one who spoke to me over the phone. I entered the limo. “Oh! So it’s you. Why am I not surprised.” I said. “Well, Kunal, you know how important it is for us to meet every now and then. Besides it has been a long time you visited me. After you left things, have changed over there. We are still not able to figure out though, as to what to do with you?” He said. He was sitting wearing a black suit, a proper hairstyle, and a smart watch. This time he had a tablet pc in his hands. “So you and your people are still not able to decide what to do with Me.? So have you come to take my advice on it?” I asked. “No, I am here for some other personal reasons.” He said. “Don’t tell me. You are having personal issues? What you are having an addiction or are you filing for a divorce or your girlfriend dumped you. I do not think you would be having any such issues. These issues are just faced by us. The worst part is you never help us in this.” I said. “Kunal, I know you are angry with me on a lot of stuff and yes I agree that sometimes I do not help ASAP. But I always help in some form or the other. But if you will be kind enough to just keep our differences apart and listen to me at least once.” He said. “I will listen to you. But you know, I do not take sessions for free so you will have to pay me for my help.” He immediately got his cheque book out and wrote a cheque. “In cash please, I do not believe in banks these days since the Nirav Modi incident has happened.” I said. “You know you are talking to me right?” He asked throwing out his attitude of being a superior being. “Yes I know I am talking to you, so I do not have faith in your cheque, because even it may get cleared after ages, like your help comes after ages. So cash please.” I said. “He waved his men standing outside to get the cash from the bag kept in the front seat. They got me my money. “Happy? Now can we continue? Will you listen to me now?” He asked. “Of course you are officially my client now and I am a very professional counselor so go ahead and speak.”
“Kunal, it has been ages now that I am living this life. People come to me with different demands and they expect me to help them. I do help some and I do not help some. I thought that it is OK to help people and they will remember me always. But…..” He stopped and looked down feeling sad. “No one remembers you once they are done with you my friend. They leave you walk away and they leave a void in your heart. Everyone in this world is with you for a motive.” I said. “Yes and that hurts Kunal. I mean don’t you feel at times that people be with you they be around you. They don’t leave you lonely?” He asked me. “I do but, that cannot be changed. I cannot force people to stay with me. Yes I do feel lonely, in fact very lonely at times but what can I do about it. You have to learn to cope up with it.” I said. “How do I handle it, Kunal? I know you can understand this very well. You pour your heart to friends, family and someone special and every time they leave you and walk away. How do you cope up with this everytime?” He asked. “Pretty simple make new friends. There is no other solution to this. Fall in love again; make a new approach to your family.” I said. “Kunal that is not simple. You of all people should know this. Heartaches, betrayals, such things leave you devastated and lonely. I am very lonely Kunal.” He said with a very saddened face. “Come on now, do not be a cry baby. You are God and you can do anything. People come to you for praying, they look up to you in their time of despair and sorrow. You should not be feeling lonely; bloody you have a huge fan following out there. These people including my parents love you so very much. How can you be lonely God?” I asked. “That is the problem. Kunal, just like others even you think that God does not need anyone. The truth is I am the loneliest entities of all, you are right people do come to me, but they come with their prayers, they come to me with tears, they come to me with their issues. I help them. After that they forget me. They don’t love me Kunal they need me. There is a difference. They don’t talk to me, they beg to me. Once their lives are normal they do not sit back to talk to me. I am not what the scriptures tell you. I am just as human as you humans. Even I feel sorrow, pain and loneliness. Even I want to talk to someone. Even I want a best friend with whom I can share stuff with or cry out with him or her when the need be. Even I want to feel the romance of someone special. I want people to love me not to need me. I want them to even share their joys with me and not just sorrow. Agreed I am the all mighty and all, but Kunal it feels nice when someone comes and gives you some good news in person. Some people do some special rituals when they are happy, they do it out of fear and not out of love. They follow rituals to the book and they finally think they have not forgotten me. They waste money on expensive things. I do not want that. Spend that money on people who need it. I just want their time to talk to me. I want to personally talk to every child of mine. All they do is read scriptures, chant mantras, learn The Bible or The Quran, they never ask me how do I feel. Kunal, is it so difficult to just ask a normal question to God ‘How are you feeling God today?’” There was a long pause between us. I was looking at him. He was almost teary, but he did not cry. “Do it. Don’t stop.” I said. He looked at me. “Come on God cry it out buddy. I know you need to cry. Even I wanted to after my break up last year, but I was not that lucky like you to have anyone around to cry. You are lucky you have me so cry it out.” I giggled. He too started laughing. “You seriously are pathetic Kunal.” He giggled even more.
“God I am sorry. Being someone, who has understood, and seen loneliness so closely, I left you alone. I was looking for love elsewhere, when all I had to do is just hug you. I got betrayed by pathetic friends because I never looked at one friend who had always put his hand across to me. God I am very sorry I blamed you always for not helping me; the fact is you were always standing there only I was so egoistic not to seek your help. You gave me the best of talents, you made me a funny person and above all you made me a warrior who never ever gives up in his life. Today, I am a good writer, a good business man, I make everyone around me laugh but I never ever thought of just looking and sharing a joke with you. I never gave it a thought that the most supreme authority, God, can also be lonely. I spoke to strangers but someone who knows my soul inside out, who can read my sorrow through my eyes, someone who stood by me all this time, I did not speak to him. I ignored you, but you still stood there. I know how bad it feels to be ignored but I still ignored you. God I am very sorry I hurt you so very much. You are right God I am a pathetic person.” I said. He hugged me. It was the best hug ever. He wiped my tears and his too. Then he waved his men to get a beer for us. “God you drink beer?” I asked totally amazed. “Well, not always but only when I am with my best friend.” We both giggled. The time was passing by and God and I were having the best conversation. I realized one thing for sure, talking to God is not all that bad, infact it is far better than talking to strangers on WhatsApp or Facebook. He kept on sharing so much stuff and so many jokes. He made me laugh, and he too intently heard my views on many things. Ultimately it was dawn. “Kunal now I have to leave. But today, I am happy I am leaving with our friendship.” I reached for my wallet got my business card out, “God this is my card, call me whenever you want to have a good time. Let’s hang around sometime soon let’s say we can go for a movie or a bike ride together.” I said. We both giggled at this. “You seriously are funny my friend, handing over your business card to God himself.” He said. “Oh come on God you are my best friend. You should have my card.” He took my card looked at and kept it in his wallet. “Hey God what about you, how can I get in touch with you whenever I want to talk to you?” I asked. He looked at me and said, “Kunal, I am already connected to you, and every human, all you have to do is just take my name and I am right at your side buddy. Besides, do not worry I will always listen because the reception up there is superb. I am always in your heart Kunal, I am always in your good deeds, every time a person smiles because of you, and I will be standing right at your side clapping for my buddy. Every time you feel sad I will be there to give you my shoulder to cry and tell you ‘come on now you are Kunal Patrawala you cannot give up, come on you are the miracle maker’ I will always be with you partying in the form of your close and true friends, and remember I do drink when I am with my best friend, and that is every human who loves me and does not need me. Kunal, remember I will hug you when the whole world has left you alone, and I will never leave your side ever buddy. See you soon.”
I woke up. I do not want to get into details whether it was a dream or was it my subconscious mind that has been at war about believing or not believing in God. But one thing is for sure, people need God they do not love him and hence their prayers never get answered. God is not selfish, but he is someone who is asking for your love. Do not love him because he will give you some blessings in return, but just love him for what he is. Talk to him, instead of praying and trust me that will work much better. Miracles do happen all it takes is you to make it happen. God is always with you talk to him guys, crack a joke for me, sometimes make him laugh, wipe his tears, have a beer with him because he always drinks with his best friends.
Saturday, February 10, 2018
With Valentine’s Day across the corner, the ‘love is in the air’ feeling is common around these days. I was sitting at a coffee shop having my favourite coffee and reading people. Yes for a change sometimes it is fun to read people. We get to learn a lot from such observations. Being a writer, stand-up comedian and a counselor I often get a lot of matter. I was reading couples. A coffee shop sees more proposals, break ups, hook ups and tears of joy and sorrows when it comes to love affairs. Today along with the coffee shop even I was a witness to some such affairs.
My phone started to disturb my thoughts. I have to reluctantly keep the mobile phone me at all times. Business is another priority of life, you cannot ignore it. I looked at the screen; it was flashing the name of a friend, one who had long lost in time. We stayed in the same town, yet we had not seen each other since many years. I received the call. “Hi, is this Kunal.” He asked. “Yes.” I replied. After exchanging the initial greetings and routine stuff my friend came to the point. “Kunal I have an issue. My wife and I are thinking to get divorced, but I am not happy with the idea. I do not want to get separated. I love her a lot and do not want to lose her.” Saying this he started crying. “Hmmmmm! You expect me to talk to her and convince her not to divorce you right?” I asked. “Yes. Please if you could. I know you are a counselor. We need your help. I need your help.” He said. “Look I do not know what you really think what we counselors do, but let me assure you we are not magicians. I will try my best to convince your wife, but do not have high hopes, because once a woman decides something, no one can change her decision. This I have learnt over the past few years.” Saying this I however decided to help him and talk to his wife once. I told him to come to my house the next day on his scooter. I specifically asked him to get the scooter. He did not understand why I insisted on the scooter, but he however agreed to it.
The very next day he came to my house with his wife. He did get the scooter as I had requested. We first exchanged greetings and then I started the session. I first asked few normal questions to his wife and then came directly to the point. “So your decision about divorcing him is final? Don’t you want to reconsider?” I asked. “Yes it is final and there is no point in reconsidering, after several warnings and reminders too he has not changed and now it is more than I can handle. It is better we get separated. I know he loves me a lot, but this is the most practical decision.” She said. “I really hate it when people bring in practicality in between love. Feelings cannot be practical, love cannot be practical. If love and feelings were practical your own mother would disown you on the very first mistake you made or the very first time you back answered her. Love is just love; nothing should change your feelings for a person. Love isn’t just a word, it’s a commitment. Your parents stick by your side come what may because they love you. That is their commitment. When you marry or fall in love with someone it is yet another commitment. The form changes but the feeling is the same and the commitment is the same. Yes everyone has a right to be selfish. But ask yourself this, is it such a weak commitment from your side, are you so simple to break and so simple are your words and promises, are they so brittle, is your mantle so easily manipulated by circumstances and issues that at the first brink of difficulty you tend to run away.” I said. She was listening carefully. “You say you gave him several warnings, are you in a marriage or a war. Frankly, these days I see people have actually forgotten the meaning of companionship and marriage. You say you don’t trust him, he doesn’t listen to you, he does things in his own manner, he takes decisions on his own without consulting you. Were you looking for a puppet, or a human? You my friend even you are at fault. She is not the only one to be blamed, when you decided to marry her it was the day you signed up to share everything with her. Marriage is not only sharing a house or a bed, it’s about sharing your soul with that person. Love is not that complicated but it isn’t that simple too. Just saying ‘I love you’ will not suffice, make her feel that way. This is the reason why I have called you both here for a session. Now, you both will do exactly as I say. After this session I leave the decision of getting divorced completely on you two. Let us hope that does not happen.” I said. “What do we have to do?” asked my friend. “Do you both know how to ride the scooter?” I asked. “Yes.” They both replied together. “Pick up that piece of cloth lying there on the table in front of you and blind fold your husband.” I told my friend’s wife. Both were hesitant about this, they did not understand what I wanted to do. She however blindfolded my friend. “Now, you will ride the scooter and your husband will ride behind you. You will ride to your house and come back. On the way your husband is not allowed to remove the cloth from his eyes. While coming back you will be blindfolded and your husband will ride the scooter and the same rules apply to you. In any case the person blind folded will not get down remove the cloth and ride. If each of you wants to get what they want, then you will not deviate from this. If you want to convince your husband for divorce and if you want to convince your wife for staying then take this very seriously.” I said. They were still confused, but they agreed to do it. Humans are selfish they would do anything like a fool in order to get their work done. She held his hand and guided him outside the house. She then slowly guided him to sit on the scooter. He sat, keeping one hand on the back railing of the scooter and the other one on her shoulders. When she started the scooter, he kept both his hands on her shoulders. “Don’t drop me.” He said with a hint of laughter. “Haha very funny.” She too said this with some laughter. For a second they both found this weird, but I did know why they felt so, they had not spent enough time laughing with each other. However explanations had to come later. “Now ride safely and be back here in 20 mins. I have to leave in 20 mins for another appointment.” I said. They left and came back in 20 mins, this time my friend riding the scooter and his wife sitting behind blindfolded. He held her hand and guided her inside. When they sat, I told my friend to remove the cloth from her eyes.
“Now, tell me in detail as to what happened on the road, do not leave a single thing.” I said.
“Well, while going home, I found it very weird. However, I still rode, because I somehow wanted to do this as you said this could convince him to get a divorce, I did not understand the logic but I still did ride. Then on the road some people looked at us, some found this weird, some pointed at us, yet some even laughed but I did not react, we had to go fast and come back soon. So I ignored them. When we reached home. I slowly stopped the scooter, he alighted. It was funny so we both laughed. Then he blindfolded me and he rode. I think he may have experienced something similar.” His wife said. He nodded in agreement. “Kunal what is the meaning of all this, I know you have explanations, you usually use examples to explain things, so now explain.” My friend said. “I will explain but first answer this; I had asked you to come back in 20 minutes why did you come back in just 15. How did you manage to get here 5 minutes earlier?” I asked. “How is that relevant? You said you wanted to leave so I took a shortcut.” He said. “Everything is relevant my friend.” I said. “Now are you not surprised he took a shortcut or did he already tell you that he is taking a shortcut?” I asked his wife. “No he did not tell me anything, but any way how does that matter, we reached here in time didn’t we?”
I smiled. “You both found this meaningless yet you did it because you both wanted to convince each other. It is exactly the same with marriage, it is totally meaningless but we still marry, we still fall in love because we have one motive, we need someone in our life, whom we can call to be ours. We want someone to take care of us, make us feel special, make us feel happy. All this is impractical, illogical so never ever take decisions of love and marriage with your brains.” I said this looking at my friend’s wife. She did understand my point. “Life is totally meaningless and totally unpredictable, we plan to some extent, we know certain things to some extent but we still do not know what will happen. The moment the person, who was blindfolded boarded on the scooter, he or she knew the way, both knew how to ride the scooter, but the one blindfolded had this little doubt that they may fall. What did you do then, you tightly held the shoulders of your wife, and you held him from the waist, both did that just to make sure you do not fall. Love and marriage are similar, hug your partner tight, hold your hands tight that come what may you do not fall in life and get separated. Life will bring along a lot of storms and many twisted turns, do not let go each other, hold each other. The person riding made sure they missed potholes and rode carefully so that they do not scare their partner, in life when you take decisions; see to it that they do not bring a horrific circumstance for your partner. (This is said looking at my friend) Remember you are not riding alone, the person sitting behind you cannot see the road, and so they are relying on you. Take the best possible road. The person sitting behind did not know where their partner is riding, though with the fear of falling down they held their partner and did not question much about the route as they knew that the partner knows the road and also knows how to ride the scooter, similarly in life do not doubt your partner so much, trust them, and do not have such a brittle trust, that it breaks so easily, trust your husband he knows how to handle life, he has also had experiences in life, he is mature enough to handle stuff, he also knows he has a wife and he has to plan accordingly, just ignore the doubts and trust him for once. Life will bring in criticizers; people who would laugh at you and further some who would even want to separate you ignore them and ride ahead. Remember when things go well between you two there will be a lot of people who would be jealous. Be ignorant about them and be careful as to not be affected by them. Ride together, enjoy each other forget the world. You both went to your house and came back, before time. He took a shortcut and you were ok with it because the ultimate goal was to reach your destination in time. With love and marriage it’s the same thing, do not question every decision he takes or ways he does things, and just focus on the ultimate destination. You both made it here in time that is what mattered. Marriage and love have the same destination and that is eternal togetherness and happiness for each other with each other and finding it within each other. If you want to live such a married or love life, forget the inhibitions questions and just ride together, it is illogical, it is impractical but it is love it does not have to be logical or practical only then you will be able to enjoy its magic.” I now looked at both of them. They did understand my point. They were looking at each other and pondering. “Both of you are also missing laughter in your marriage. Remember laughter is not a simple thing, it is a beautiful thing, when you laugh together as a couple you bring in a lot of happiness and permanent cementing to your relationship. Some jokes, some pranks, and a lot of laughter are very important.”
“Kunal, all this is fine, but what if one still has doubts? What if one still does not trust the way the other is behaving?”
Asked my friend’s wife. “Did I ever tell you guys not to ask each other anything on the way to your house and back, did I say do not speak at all, and was I there to see if you removed the cloth from your eyes just to have a glimpse and then put it back.” I said. She smiled she had understood. “Ask each other talk to each other more, clarify to the deepest root, do not just assume things or do not just build rigid views about each other, as you are scared, so is your partner. In this case your husband is scared to lose you. Talk to him.”
“Yes I am scared to lose you. I love you madly and I never wanna see a day without you. I agree I may have made mistakes, but then who will correct me? Who will make me know my mistakes? I am not at all stressed when you keep pointing my mistakes I enjoy that, I am just stressed with the idea of you leaving me.” My friend said this with tears in his eyes. His wife just hugged him. I was happy. Now, these two were never gonna go for a divorce. I thank God that he helped me do this. After the emotions cooled down we had some tea. “Kunal you said you had an appointment and you had to go somewhere.” My friend said. “Yes I have to go to a party; you are throwing the party and inviting me to it.” I said. We all laughed together. “So this scooter theory, where did you find it from?” His wife asked. “Well, I never share the trick of my trade.” I said. We all laughed again.
They both left together, happy and together. I bid them goodbye, took my bike and started riding. I wish I could convey this theory to someone I rode with once. I wish she could have learnt it. To my readers and all the couples out there, do not complicate love with practicality or doubts or inhibitions, yes we are humans and it is natural to have all three but talk to each other. Separation is not the solution to anything, life is too short and we all have to go to the same destination. Live, love and above all laugh a lot. Hold each other tight, do not doubt, ride your life safe, enjoy being with each other. Love each other madly and above all believe in the magic of love. This Valentine’s day I wish a lot of love to all my readers, may every heart find love this Valentine ’s Day and no heart goes through the pain of separation. God bless each and every one.
" If I could ever meet God in person, the only thing I would ask him is to grant me your love, grant me your togetherness, I would ask him to grant me one dream, a dream of being your arms forever."
Monday, August 14, 2017
The Spectacle Theory
Since the past few months I have been on a roller coaster ride in my own life. Even though, I have always faced and handled complexities in life with a lot of maturity and peace of mind, this time it was a massive blow from life. However, every human has to face life alone and every human has the ability to transform himself or herself into a better person. Hope, Love and total faith in one’s dreams can make miracles happen.
I had stopped taking counseling cases, also had taken a break from writing, I was introspecting and improving my own inner strength and confidence. In this time friends do play a very important role, I was at a friend’s place when this incident took place. It was something so simple yet so amazing that I could not resist writing it.
I was with my friend, standing in the balcony of his bungalow. We were just chit chatting with each other about normal stuff. “Kunal seriously man I am so tensed about my future. I just don’t know how things will work out and I just don’t understand what I will do with myself. Thinking about the future gives me jitters. I get so anxious at times and also lose all hope. Just feel like giving up now. I don’t understand why do we have to go through so many issues in life. Can’t life be simple? Can’t there be peace?” He said. “Can you just remove your specks for a second?” I said. He was looking at me with a perplexed look. “Kunal, did you just hear what I said?” He asked. “Yes I did but I just want you to remove your specks for a second.” I replied. He was not aware as to what I am upto then too he did as I said. “Fine, I removed my specks, now what you want me to do? Dance around? I am into a serious discussion here and all you want me to do is dance to your circus.” He said with disappointment. “Well, this even you will have to agree, that my circus often finds people the correct answers, and often gives you a clearer perspective of everything. Anyway, now just look at the things outside the balcony and tell me what you see.” I said. He shrugged his shoulders and looked out. “Kunal I cannot see a damn thing out here, you know I am short sighted I cannot see faraway objects without my specks.” He said. “That’s your problem my friend. You are looking at faraway objects, I asked you what you see and you are not seeing where you have to. Look at the most closest patch that you can see clearly.” I replied. He looked at the closest patch. “I see my car parked near the gate, I see a sweeper sweeping the street, I also see a guy sitting on his bike waiting for someone I guess.” He described everything. “All this you could see clearly?” I asked. “Yes.” He replied. “Now wear your specks and sit down here.” I said. He did as I asked. “When you removed your specks and tried looking at the far away objects you could not see a damn thing. But you could see everything that was close by. Life also has the similar kind of vision deficiencies. People often tend to look at the future, they are blinded with anxiety, fear and nervousness, this further leads to lack of motivation and hopes. People do not look by at the closest patch that is the present time.” I said. He was now listening to me intently. “When you remove the specks in life and look at the closest patch you will see everything clearly, a clear vision gives you confidence, hopes and all the motivation required. It takes away the anxiety and fear, because you are no longer staring in the wilderness of an unclear and blurred future. Future is never built on what you see in the far away vision; future is built on what you see in the present and how you make things happen in the present. Remember, no one can predict your future, but only you can make it as you want it, but only by being in the present.” I took a pause and looked at him. “Kunal, this is wishful thinking; this is easier said than done. Don’t you have anxiety about your future? Don’t you get jitters? Don’t you have fears?” He asked. I laughed for a second and then said, “My friend I was not born in a test tube, neither am I a superhero, I am human like you. I also have my fears, my anxieties and recently I too had my emotional breakdown.” “Then how are you so hopeful, so positive, and still full of life and so happy go lucky, what is the secret? Whenever I see you, you are always up to some pranks or jokes I never see you tensed, depressed or crying.” I smiled and replied, “I too cry my friend, I too be sad, but the secret to my way of living is I have got the correct prescription of the specks to look at my life.” “Correct prescription of the specks to look at life, can you elaborate on this please. We are not counselors like you.” He giggled and asked. “It’s very simple actually. Just tell me one thing; you go for an eye checkup regularly. If your optometrist finds that the specks you are wearing are not of the correct prescription or he feels that it has to be changed, what do you do?” I asked him. “I get the specks changed and wear the new prescription given to me. That is a pretty simple thing.” He now knew what I was trying to say. “So Kunal you mean to say we should change the way we look at life and the future?” I smiled and replied to this, “Exactly my friend. What we do is, we look at the future with the specks of fear, anxiety and uncertainty. It is very natural actually. It is basic human inhibition. Even I do that sometimes. But we fail to understand that we need to look at the future with the prescription of positive attitude, happiness, and a lot of confidence. We should look at the future with all the hopes we have. Only then you will not fear it, you will love it. Life is very beautiful, but the moment fear enters life, it destroys every beautiful thing and feeling. If you ever feel feared again about the future, very simple my friend, first remove your specks, look at the closest patch and then change the prescription, I can guarantee then life will show you exactly what you want to see.” He looked at me with a smile. “I agree we are all so busy being feared about life and about future that we forget to love it, we forget to love what we have, and then land up being sad. But from now on I will remove the specks look at the closest patch and then change the prescription. This is a nice Spectacle Theory you evolved here.” We both giggled. I got up to leave. “Kunal, how is your book coming out?” He asked. “My book is coming out quite well; I hope to get it published soon enough. I am hopeful it will be a bestseller.” I said. “Dude you know we all are eagerly waiting to read your book. Finish it soon man. All the best.” He said. “All in good time my friend. All in good time.”
I returned home and started my work on my book. I was so intrigued with the discussion I had with my friend. I thought of putting it down in my blog and my friend had provided an apt title for the same, ‘The Spectacle Theory.’ I would like to convey the same thoughts to my readers remove your specks, look at the closest patch, and change the prescription.
I love you the most in the whole universe,
My love I can no longer walk in the reverse.
It pains me to be away from you each day,
But I know God would decide hence I pray.
I cannot sit and be negative about everything,
Miracles are only created when you are happy when you sing.
I am foolishly positive I know,
I am madly hopeful I know,
But in love it does happen so.
The world may not see my vision today,
But united with you I will stand one day.
Ending my article with this poem that came to my mind. Signing off for now-------- The Miracle Maker.
Thursday, May 18, 2017
“I wanna romance all your moods and blend with you in a manner that I do exist as me but I still be yours and I still be you.” He said.
She smiled and looked at him. Her gaze was on the evening sun. The moment he said these words she found the setting sun a little more beautiful. She felt like this moment should pause here and she should always be in his arms and just give him all the love she feels for him. She hugged him and softly said, “You are a poet, a writer, you are good with words, you are good at expressing your feelings, I am bad at it so all I can do is hug you and make you feel all the love I have for you. Sometimes I feel bad about that why can’t I express my feelings in words to you.” She said while hugging him even tighter. “Well for me it’s a win-win situation. The less you use words the more you hug. So I am enjoying this” He said this with laughter.
“All men are the same.” She hit him playfully while saying this and jumped into laughter with him. She then looked at his laughing face, his gleaming eyes and gently run her palm on his face. She felt his beard, she run her hands through his hair; she placed her palm on his cheeks. He kissed her palm. She then took his face in both her palms and kissed his eyes. “I am lucky your eyes adore me, I am lucky they find me beautiful. It is because you say that I believe I am beautiful, it is because you love me that I love myself even more, it is because you make me laugh, I realize what actually laughter is.” He hugged her when she said this and they gently blended into a kiss. A kiss so serene so pure that the moment their lips locked with each other, their souls broke all the chains and embraced each other. The moment their souls embraced each other even the heavens were mesmerized. Their love, their togetherness was so enchanting that even God himself skipped a heartbeat looking at the awesomeness of their love and the beautiful blend and bond their souls had become. Cupid himself fell in love with their love, their kiss. He blessed them with eternal love. “Darling my laughter my happiness everything begins with you and ends with you. My definition of life is you. My image of God is you. My breath is just you. My poems would be lifeless without you. My words would weep without you. I can romance my words so well because your love inspires me to do so. Every moment I want to be in your arms, I want to embrace our togetherness in a manner that no one disturbs us. Let’s just hug each other once again, let’s just show the world what a miracle our love is, that when our souls embrace each other, they blend into one enchanting soul, and all the bleed, breathe and live is deep love, pure, serene and innocent deep love. Let me fall in love with you again and again with every breath that I breathe, and every second I look at you let me eyes be soothed.” There was a tear in her eyes. She was touched at how much he loved her. She said a silent prayer ‘I love him the most, I don’t wanna live without him, I just wanna be in his arms, I want to blend into his breath, his heartbeat, his eyes and his entire existence, I just want to become him. God give me the power to love him more than you, give me the chance to be his strength and please God always keep him happy, let me motive be to make him happy always and tell him every single day that I love him madly, crazily and the most in the entire universe.’ He looked at her, She smiled and said, “I am in the most happiest version of life that anyone could ever be, Mr. Writer, I love you the most, just hug me and never let me go.” He hugged her tight. She kissed him all over his face. Today it seemed they were breathing for each other with each other. Seemed as if the heavens themselves are in love with their love.
Another small glimpse from the romance of these two individuals. I hope my readers enjoy it. I hope that person for whom I present this enjoys this.
Saturday, May 13, 2017
The rain drops caress my cheeks they remind me of your lips on my face,
The wind going through my hair makes me feel your fingers in my hair.
My darling standing here in the first embrace of rains I feel your hug around me.
The fragrance of the wet soil reminds me of your fragrance,
The colors of rains remind of your beautiful eyes.
The darkness of the clouds reminds of your hair.
I could be good with words I know,
But you mesmerize me in a manner so,
That I forget my vocabulary all together,
A beauty like you I have seen never.
It seems God created a master piece in you,
It seems even he is in love with you.
What can a mere poet like me describe about your beauty,
I can only sit by and adore your perfections duly.
The rains make me even more eager to hug you in my arms,
I want to fall in love everyday with all your charms.
Baby merely saying I love you may not be enough today,
I want to love you and make you feel it each and every way.
I want to be one with you today, tomorrow and everyday,
My darling with you is where my destiny lay.
Being a poet I often take this liberty of penning down poems. These days with the rains setting in and being a die hard romantic I could come up with some work in romance. Here comes my second installment dedicated to that special romance I carry in my heart. I again hope my words to justice here.
Being a poet I often take this liberty of penning down poems. These days with the rains setting in and being a die hard romantic I could come up with some work in romance. Here comes my second installment dedicated to that special romance I carry in my heart. I again hope my words to justice here.