The Wrapper Theory

Many of the issues in life are pretty simple, but we humans have an amazing art of complicating things. We are so addicted to being accustomed to stress that when there is no stress in our life we become even stressed about it. In my years of observing people and reading their behaviors I have come across many such examples.

I am now working on my new company and I am always very busy with its work. I mostly travel. My counselling work and writing blogs had taken a backseat. Day in and day out I am busy with marketing and sales strategies and understanding the product line and the market strategies.

I was having my dinner and got a call from a friend. She sounded a little sad. I told her I would meet her at our regular coffee joint after dinner. I did not ask her what she was sad about. Basically after years of reading behaviors and observing people you develop the knack to know what is troubling them without even asking them.

We met at the regular coffee joint. We brought a cup of coffee and were sitting in one corner sipping it. She had a sip and started talking, “Kunal, I am not happy with my life. I cannot figure out the solutions to the issues in my life, my career, love life, health everything has gone for a toss. Parents are pressurizing me to get married but in that so called arrange marriage sector also I am getting rejected almost by all the proposals I seek. Seriously how does someone live such a life and not get angry or stressed. I am not at all happy; I am a loser, feeling totally useless.”  Saying this she started crying. I held her palm to calm her down. I took a deep breath. I wanted to explain to her one fact of life but in my style something unique.

“You just sit here I will be right back I feel like having a Happy dent (chewing gum).”  She did not say anything and sat there. I brought some 5 of those and placed them on the table. “Have one if you like.” She half-heartedly took one and started opening the wrapper. She could not open the wrapper .She was already stressed she just threw it on the table frustrated; she then picked up another one and tried to open the wrapper again. This one opened she put the chewing gum in her mouth and started chewing. I did not say anything. We then finished our coffee and went out. We mounted my bike and rode off. After riding for some while I stopped the bike. We got down. She was still sad frustrated and had a small hint of tears in her eyes. “So you threw the happy dent on the table.” I asked. She looked at me with surprise and frustration and said, “I cannot believe it Kunal I am here with a serious problem and all you are worried about is the happy dent.”  “That happy dent is the solution to all your problems.” I said. She was more surprised, “How is it the solution to all my problems? It is just a mint chewing gum.”  I smiled. “What happened when you could not open the wrapper of the happy dent?”  I asked. “Yeah fine I threw it away and you felt bad sorry about it ok now can we focus on the solution part.”  She said in an angry tone. “You just laid down the solution my friend, you just put down half of it though. Tell me exactly what you did when you could not open the wrapper of the happy dent.”  I said. “I threw the happy dent on the table picked up another one and opened it and ate it.”  She said.  “Now the solution is laid down completely in front of you.”  I said. She was still confused. “You know what the problem is you guys want everything complicated. You even want a solution to be complicated to believe that it will work out. Frankly that is not the truth. Life is pretty simple, if you have the correct perception to look at it. You could not open the wrapper you threw it away and picked up another one opened it and ate it. It’s that simple. You have a problem in life you try finding the solution to it, but somehow you are not able to find the solution. You stick to it. That is your problem. Throw it pick up another one open it and eat it that is how problems are solved. Pick up another problem find a solution to it; I am pretty sure you will be able to fix that one at least. If you are not able to solve that one then pick another one, do not waste time in finding solutions which you do not have right now, finish with the problems to which you have solutions right away, solutions to the unsolved problems will present itself to you in the right time. Remember problems are like uninvited guests, they will never ask your permission for a good time to drop by. As you entertain the unwanted guest, entertain the problem for some while if it is not solved sleep over it and go to the next one.”  I silently now looked at her. Tears now gone away and some sense settling in. She then asked me, “What about the problem I left unsolved?” “As I said solution will show up at the right time then you can get back to the problem and solve it, but trust me these problems are so keen about loyalty if you are not loyal to them, they prefer walking away from your life.” I giggled. “Okay jokes apart, some problems automatically get solved when you are solving other problems, some become so unimportant that you just forget them and move on and some they decide to walk away and sometimes you will realise there was no problem at all, and it was just a smoke screen created by your stress.”  She now understood what I meant. “But what if it is an urgent problem and I do not have solution to it right then and there?”  She asked. “Ok, let’s assume that we are here and the fuel in bike is empty, we have to urgently reach home, and what do we do? I give you three solutions 1. We take a cab. 2. We wait for someone to give us a lift. 3. We drag the bike and keep walking towards our houses.”  I asked. “Of course we take a cab, if that is not available we take a lift and the worst case scenario we drag the bike.” She said. “See you had a solution to the urgent problem in the exact chronology of ease. Every problem has a solution and every problem will present to you with options of ease and hard way out. In the given situation you first decided to take a cab easy way out, if not the cab take a lift a little difficult but comparatively easy way out and the final hard way out drag the bike. Each situation in life will give you such solutions you decide which one you like.”  I said. She was now calm. “Which one would you choose Kunal in the given situation?”  “I would of course drag the bike, everyone knows how much I love my bike.” We both laughed. She hugged me and cried. “Remember life is very easy and very beautiful love it and it will love you back dear friend. Now smile, because a smile gives you all the confidence you need.” 

I wish people understood such simple things in life, there would be lesser agony and pain in the world.

My dad passed away on the night of 18th October 2018. I loved him the most after all he was my best friend. He had faith in me and my dreams. Today I do not feel his physical presence around me but spiritually I am still connected to his soul. This wrapper theory would not have been possible without him. He always taught me things in a different manner and he always encouraged me to be myself/. Remember friends and readers life is too short. Do not complicate it do not crib about problems unsolved because that will lead you nowhere be positive and handle everything with a smile. I dedicate this to my dad today.