LOVE IS HAPPINESS

LOVE IS HAPPINESS.

Love and romance is a topic I often prefer not to speak about ever. I have my share of failures and setbacks in this field. Hence, I decided never to speak on it. However, I got a call from a friend, who herself happens to be a motivational speaker. She had called me about an invitation to speak at a seminar. Such invitations are common for both of us. She is a wonderful companion and an amazingly knowledgeable person and hence I share a very fruitful and healthy friendship with her. She said, “Kunal, we have been invited for the seminar that I was telling you about the other day. It’s about your favorite topic Love and Romance.” She giggled taunting me on this. Out of all the people on the face of the earth, I am always worried discussing and debating things with her because I often tend to lose arguments and discussions with her. Someone had once said never argue with a beautiful woman and especially a beautiful woman with brains. She was one such rare combination. “You know my answer already. I will be passing this offer. I will not be speaking on this issue at all. However, I will accompany you to the venue if you want a pick up and drop service or a bodyguard service.” I giggled. “It’s at 8 in the evening pick me up and please do wear that black blazer you often wear. You just look charming in that. Who knows may be some girl would fall for you there and we can then hear wedding bells.” She laughed. “Done, as usual I will not be arguing with you. However, I will not mind if that girl is you who decides to fall for me.” I said. She laughed again and said, “Stop flirting now and do not be late. Pick me up sharp at 8.”

I was sharp on time right outside her house. I entered the driveway, right on the porch of her house and before I could even ring the doorbell, she opened the door of her house. She often does that. She knows I am punctual. After all best friends always know the traits of each other. She was dressed in the routine trouser and shirt that she often wears for seminars and lectures and I was dressed in my routine war attire. A black 2-piece suit and hair properly jelled up with my black watch and black shoes. People who know me will be well acquainted with the fact that I am obsessed with black. We drove to the venue. The host welcomed us with a warm heart.

The seminar held, was for youngsters (not that I am not young anymore but I belong to the age group of above 29 and these were in the age group from 20-25.) They were looking the promising future of our country and some not so promising faces sitting around. It was of course with the Valentine’s Day around the corner they were eager to hear about Love and Romance and wanted guidance on that. I took a seat in the front row with our host when my friend took to the stage and started her speech. “Good evening young women and gentlemen. I will be lying if I said I could define Love or Romance. However, my friend here can reflect on it even in a better way than I can. Therefore, I would be stepping down so that he can enlighten your young minds with his brilliant thoughts on this topic. Kunal please take the stage.” I was startled. I seriously had not prepared for this. She came down the stage winking at me. “Go for the battle Lion. Let’s see how you turn the tables now.” She whispered in my ear. Now that she knew I was challenged I would give my best shot. Nice way to play me out, I thought.

I took to the stage. I stared blankly at everyone for a minute cleared my throat and said, “I was told I am here to guide and motivate, my way of guiding and motivating is a bit different than others. I prefer it to be an interactive session rather than a boring speech. As my friend here said I would enlighten you people with my brilliant thoughts, frankly I would steal thoughts from your minds and frame them in a manner you would understand or like to understand them. The ‘like to understand’ being the most important here. Therefore, instead of speaking about Love and romance I will like to answer questions about them.”

I waited for a response. Someone from that ‘not so promising’ group I mentioned earlier stood up raising his hands. I gestured him to speak.

He hesitantly opened his mouth to speak with a stammer. “Aaa according to you what is love?” He probably had spoken for the first time in public. He had gathered all his courage to ask me this question.  I gestured him to sit.

“Love my friend is a waste of time. It will bring you nothing until you know and understand the real essence of love. Until then love is just a waste of time and it will do nothing but destroy you. I am not discouraging you here. But first learn the real essence of love.”

He was of course confused. He asked me again, “Can you please tell me what the real essence of love is?”

My friend was now smiling, as she knew the things were working according to her plan. I was looking at her and smiling too. I knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to get the fear of love out of me and what other better way than putting me up to answer questions asked by audience, where she knew I will not lie to the audience and to myself.

I looked at the boy again and said, “Did you have your lunch today?”

“Yes.” He replied. “Did you like it?” I asked. “Yes.” He replied. “Why did you like it?” I again put forth a question. “Because it was my favorite dish and it was tasty.” He said. “So it was your favorite dish, therefore it made you happy and when you were eating it, you felt it was tasty.” “Yes I was happy.” He replied. “What if you got the same food every day?” I asked. He said, “I will love it because I will be happy to eat it. It is my favorite dish.”

“There you have your answer. The real essence of love is happiness. Without happiness, Love will not exist. With love, you will be happier every day, just like you will be happier every day eating your favorite food.” He sat down as he had his answer.

“How can one remain happy every day? There will be stressful days. There will be difficulties in life that will make you upset and hamper your thought process making you sad. How can one be happy all the time?” a girl asked.

I gestured her to sit down. “You are in college doing your post graduation right?” I asked “Yes.” She replied. “Before I answer your question can you please help me with some of my queries? My phone here is giving me unwanted notifications here about Twitter and Facebook and Gmail. I am a very busy man and it irritates me at work. Can you please tell me how to turn these things down?”

“It’s simple go to the settings and turn them down. What’s so complicated in that?” She said.

I smiled and even she smiled when she realized what I was trying to explain. “Your brain is just like any other smart phone or tablet pc. Just go to its settings and turn down the negative notifications and bad thoughts. There is a reason why ‘HUMAN’ is the most intelligent species on earth. We humans can think, we can react but above all, we humans can choose. It is in our hands that we keep cribbing about stuff or we smile at each moment and decide to be happy. We cannot buy happiness. We cannot achieve happiness by exchanging it for things. We can only decide to be happy. It is the only emotion with the control completely in our hand. So, go to the settings and turn down the sad notifications, what’s so complicated in that?”

Everyone in the hall was now smiling. My friend was smiling too as she knew I was not making the students understand I was making myself understand stuff. I was walking this walk with myself instead of these people around.

“So you mean to say that being happy can lead me to love everyone and everything around?” One of the hosts asked me this.

“What’s your profession?” I asked.

“I am a teacher.” The host replied.

“Do you enjoy your profession? Are you happy in it?” I asked

“Yes I am very happy. I will love it.” She smiled. She had her answer.

“Being happy makes you consistent towards something. You will love what you do if you are happy. You will love the person you are with if that person makes you happy. You will love yourself, which is the most pure form of love, if you, yourself are happy. Happiness is a major driving force when it comes to love. Without happiness love is incomplete and without love happiness would be stale and boring.”

“Can you please elaborate on your last point please?” My friend asked me the question this time.

I thought of a quick example. “Let’s consider our mobile phones for a second. The battery would be happiness and the things we do with it, like calling, texting, photographing, Twitter and Facebook, etc to be love. What will happen if we do not charge them every day?” I asked.

“The batteries will die off and we will not able to use them.” She said.

“Exactly, when the batteries of happiness die off the cell phone with ‘love’ to be used will be rendered useless until you charge it. Similarly, you charge the phone but you have no service, no internet, no games, no flashlight on your phone, you cannot call anyone or text them, you cannot use twitter or Facebook, what will happen then?”

“The phone would be of no use. Even though it has all the battery life it will just be a small child’s toy.” She said.

“Exactly, my point, with all the happiness in the world, what would you do if you do not have love, if you do not have someone to stand and applaud for you, it can be anyone, a loving friend, mother, father, fiancee, wife or kids or just another human being. Having all the happiness in the world will also be fruitless if you cannot celebrate it with love. Therefore, without happiness, love is incomplete and without love, happiness would be stale and boring.” I concluded. Everyone clapped. The session ended here as I did not get any further questions, but instead I got everyone smiling.

 I came down the stage; we had our dinner at the venue. While driving back, my friend was intently looking at me. She was smiling. She knew I was looking at her. “OK! OK! Thank you. I know I owe you this one.” I said with a smile. She laughed and said, “So now you realize Kunal, you keep saying you are happy but my friend the phone with all the battery life is useless if there is nothing to use in it. Happiness is useless if there is no one to share it with, no one to applaud. Do not be scared of love Kunal; give someone a chance to love you. Give someone a chance to applaud for you my friend.” She said. I smiled. We came to her house. We got out of the car. As usual, we hugged each other. “Hey, Thanks a lot for making me do this. Thanks for killing my fears. I am lucky and happy that you are my best friend.” I said this with my eyes a little moist. She hugged me again. She wiped my cheeks and said, “The pleasure is mine to be your best friend. I can never have anyone better in my life to be my best friend. I love you and will cherish you for life my friend. Now drive safely and be happy.”

I just smiled and sat inside the car and drove off. While on my way back home, I stopped by the lake. I removed my wallet and threw away a picture that I was carrying for a long time. I felt a little lighter inside. I had shut down the unwanted notifications of my brains. After all what’s so complex in that?.