THE T-SHIRT THEORY

‘The T-shirt Theory’

As a part of my daily life, seeking a perfect partner for marriage has become an inseparable part of my living. My parents have become seriously tensed as to where am I headed with all the thought process of mine, where they are pretty sure I will land up making all the wrong choices or may be will land up not marrying at all. I do not blame them for this over-reaction on the given situation as I know they are ‘INDIAN PARENTS’ and their logic is both practical and emotional. Their practical side of the thought process appears into action when their children are choosing their careers and the emotional side comes out when their child is not married at the age of 29. Both the aspects have different after effects on the child depending from person to person.

Now, as I said the emotional side often appears during marital issues, so here I was attending yet another meet of unmarried girls and guys of our community. All thanks to mom’s emotional blackmail and the false tears she had in her eyes. She knows that always works. Now I know where I got my acting skills from. I landed up into another trick of hers and decided to go with her and dad to one such meet.

We reached the venue in time. It was 8.30 A.M. in the morning and some tea and breakfast had been arranged by the community for everyone. Well, people who know gujjus would know that we gujjus cannot survive without dhokla, thepla and khakhra with our tea. So, we entered the hall, had our tea and breakfast and then went to the first floor for the main event. As I had thought, the event did not start at the correct time. I was not amazed as we Indians are used to the ‘INDIAN STANDARD TIME’ system, whereby everything starts late. While sitting there I could see many other girls and guys of my age who had obviously come there for the same reason as me. Everyone was nervous and was sweating. The auditorium however, was a centrally air-conditioned one. I looked at everyone was realized how nervous people were. I thought to myself, why can’t I be nervous like these people here?

I know everyone was too scared of getting rejected. It was this fear I had given up on a long time ago. Not because I did not feel scared of being rejected, but because I had found a theory to this situation also. I called it ‘The T-shirt Theory’. It is strange how we can learn huge lessons of life from the smallest gestures we do.

Rejection is a huge fear which leads to many other fears. The fear of failure is the first one to be inflicted on the person who has the fear of rejection followed by the fear of losing. Once these three kinds of fears are inflicted a human being always tends to be into a depressed state of mind and loses faith in positivity. Rejection is not to be feared however bad or sad it may be. Every rejection is a chance for selection somewhere else. Nothing on this planet ever is a ‘dead stock’ everything and everyone is utilized somewhere or the other. Very few people understand this fact.

It’s plain and simple; when you enter a shop, say to buy a t-shirt. The shopkeeper will show you all the t-shirts he has in stock for selling. You look at a few, you shortlist a few, then you buy just one. All the other t-shirts are put aside. These t-shirts are nothing but the rejected people we come across. So, are these rejected t-shirts never sold? Well, these t-shirts are bought by other customers. As I said nothing is a ‘dead stock’. Sometimes the shopkeeper will sell these t-shirts in a sale so that all the t-shirts get sold. It is in the same manner when you see all your friends around you getting married or getting selected in good jobs or getting selected for anything important in life, it’s a bulk sale, do not worry someday you will also be selected. The problem with us humans is we compare ourselves to others a lot. Friends got good percentages and we feel sad as we did not. We forget that every t-shirt is different and every t-shirt is unique. Every t-shirt has its own color and fabric and everyone wants a different t-shirt. Remember if we all wanted the same t-shirts then the world would be a boring place. If everyone got the same percentage, don’t you think there would be no fun at all in appearing for the exams, if everyone got selected by the best MNC’s then it would be like a bee hive. Day in and day out we would work as slaves and we would live the same routine. How boring? Rejection brings about a chance to be unique, to be different and to be precious.  Those who fear rejection do not focus on their best qualities as their constantly thinking about their bad qualities. ‘I am fat, I am ugly, I am not that well educated, I do not have money’ all such reasons do not allow you to focus on ‘I am very good at business, I play cricket very well, I am a confident person and I never give up, I have huge ambitions, I am very intelligent, I have practical knowledge, I am fat but I am cute.’ We just keep focusing on negative traits ultimately messing up with all the chances we have to be selected rather than being rejected. Hence we develop the fear of failure in turn ‘What if people will laugh at me, What if I do not do it properly, What if I mess up at work, I am just good for nothing’  this is all we think always because we fear rejection. Both these fear in turn lead us to the fear of losing. ‘ I know she will not like me and reject me as I am fat, I know my boss will throw me out as I do not speak proper English, I know I will fail my exams as I am good for nothing because my principal thinks so.’

Remember, every t-shirt is different and every t-shirt will be sold one day or the other. Nothing is a ‘dead stock’ on this planet. Everything and everyone will be utilized one day or the other for the sole purpose they are formed for. Finally, I would quote the lines I had learnt at school “You are important, precious, beautiful and always on the run.”

Well at the auditorium, as usual I did not get selected, I did not get any calls from any families, I heartily had my lunch at the venue and walked out with a smile on my face as I knew some day or the other I will be utilized.