THE GRAPES ARE SOUR

The grapes are sour..

It has been about nearly 10 years I left my college and my hostel and left my darling city Mumbai. After finishing college, I had to leave my hostel because we could live there just for one-degree course. Therefore, I left hostel. After leaving hostel and college, everyone got busy with their own lives. I was in regular touch with my hostel friends. We use to go on trips once in every six months. I was so busy with making something out of my life that I had lost touch of all my college friends. I had a best friend at college. She was a very kind and sweet girl. In my transit in life, I never had the luxury of giving her a call and have a chat with her. She was married now and settled. I thought of giving her a surprise giving her a call. I did a little detective work getting in touch with other friends and getting her recent number. She had named me, “Headache”. I was a huge headache to her. She always complained about me being late for outings, unkempt shabby hair, not shaving and totally living like a bachelor animal. Those were fun days. We had great fun at college. I did give her a call. “Hello.” I could hear her sweet voice on the other side of the phone. She is a classical singer. I could still remember hearing her classical songs. However, at times I use to land up sleeping and snoring. “Hi.” I said. “So finally the HEADACAHE calls me.” “What the hell you still remember my voice?” “Of course I do you moron. You may have forgotten me. I have not forgotten you. Not even a bit. I bet you still are the same all shabby, bearded jungle man.” “Eeeerrr! Well I have changed a bit I guess. Not the jungle bearded guy anymore.” We both giggled at this. Frankly speaking, at that time all, the moments of my college days and all the pranks I had played on her were passing by my eyes in my thoughts and for a moment, I think there was a tear in my eye. Yes, I did miss her a lot. I could not speak anything else other than, “Hey I missed you.” “I missed you too dear. Life did take a lot away from us didn’t it?” There was a pause now. “Kunal, are you there?” “Yes, I am. Just thinking of all those pranks, we played at college, all those years and all those funny moments. I just wish you were here right now. I feel like hugging you right away. I just so badly wish.” “Hmmm! I wish for the same. It has been so delightful to hear your voice after so many years. There is so much I want to share, so much I want to tell you, so much to ask you about?” There was again silence. “Tell you what; let’s meet up on the weekend. Shall we?” “Hey great idea tell me where and when?” “The same old place buddy. Where you spent the most of the time in college. The canteen.” “Ok I guess then at the same time right.” “Exactly Headache.” We again giggled. In college, I never had attended lectures. Every friend including this best friend attended lectures. I use to reach the college when everyone was done with all the lectures. People living in hostels and commerce graduates will know how the life goes about in the commerce field at college. Everything decided I land up at the college canteen at the same time. I was looking around. Nothing had changed a bit. I sat on the same table our gang use to sit on. “Kya saahab aaj koi shayari likha ke nai?(So sir, have you written any new poem today?)” One familiar voice said this from the back of my chair. I turned around and to my surprise there, he stood. He was the canteen manager. “Arre! Anna aap kaise ho? (Anna you, how are you?)” I was so overwhelmed to see this fellow there, that I just hugged him. He was overwhelmed too to see me. “Sahab aaj bhi yaad hai aap idhar baithke shayari likhta tha. Aapka favorite schezwan rice tha. Aap ka gang bahut masti karta tha idar. Itna saal ke baad aapko dekh ke acha laga sahab. Aapka shayari acha lagta tha sahab. Abi toh aap bahut bada writer ban gaya rahega hai na sahab? (Sir, I still remember, you would sit here and write poems. Your favourite dish in this canteen was schezwan rice. Your gang use to do a lot of mischief here. I use to like hearing your poems. It is a pleasure to see you here after so many years. You might have become a top writer now isn’t it?” “Arre! Nahi Anna writer nahi main abi business karta hu. Ha lekin likhta hu abhi. ( No Anna I am not a writer. I am now into business. I still write though.” “Oh acha hai sahab aap baitho main abi aapka favourite bhejta hai.” “Anna.” He stopped. I hugged him again. I sat down on the table. I was looking at the walls of the canteen and looking around at the new generation of HEADACHES all around me. It was kind of a trip down the memory lane. As I was wandering around in my memory lane, I suddenly had a tap on my head. I was back to my senses. “Did you order something for me you selfish geek.” There she was. My best friend. Someone I respected and adored a lot. Someone whom I loved a lot. She was as usual looking very beautiful. Her long hair always had me mesmerized. Her smile was very refreshing. I smiled at her and hugged her. For a moment, there was a hint of tears in our eyes. “Nope I haven’t ordered anything Queen Elizabeth. You did not hire me for that.” “Oh Kunal why the hell are you such a huge HEADACHE?” We giggled. It had been years that we missed this conversation. Anna kept the schezwan rice on the table. She grabbed the plate playfully and had a morsel. I ordered another plate and a cold drink. While eating, we had a conversation of all the stuff commonly spoken between two long lost friends. “I guess you were right. You have changed a bit. I see you clean-shaven. All well dressed up. However, the strangest part is you are not staring at beautiful girls around. Now how did that happen? Did your ex take all the emotions out of you?” “Nope not at all.” “Kunal seriously I am concerned. Have you turned gay by any chance?” We both giggled heartily at this. “Not at all. Do not even think about it. I am totally fine. I am straight.” “No seriously. What is wrong with you? The person like you who was a huge flirt. Who could flirt with every second babe in college, is suddenly so changed. What has happened?” “Well for me the grapes turned sour.” “Grapes turned sour? Could you please take an effort in explaining?” “I have given up on flirting, relationships or any kind of companionship with the opposite sex.” “Hmmmmm! You still not out of her?” “Nope. Nothing to do with my broken heart. You know how I am. I just take each thing that happens in life and either profit from it or learn from it. I have learnt one thing. To get good things you to be worthy enough. You ought to be up to the level to get those things in life. I am not at all anywhere near to that class.” “What class? What level?” “Well, look at me. Forget flirting, any girl would not even want to turn around and have a second look at me. I am a dump. Any girl would take me as a best friend as a shoulder to cry, anything beyond that and I will be labelled as a freak. If I were somewhere a little bit good looking, slim, handsome, I bet you no girl would have resisted me. It is the same in case of girls. Do you remember all the attention you got in the college days?” “Oye I still get it.” We again giggled. “I am dead sure you do. I do not know about the world but yes, my attention is all towards you. Well that attention you get is because you are beautiful and perfect. Had it been the other way round and you would have craved for all the attention and all the love of someone. Fat, ugly looking people do not have a right to flirt, fall in love. Fat and ugly looking people can sit in one corner look at all the beautiful people and just say to themselves THE GRAPES ARE SOUR. They will not even make an effort to go ahead and talk to them. I say grapes are sour because as the wolf could not get the grapes and consoled himself saying that they are sour, is the similar manner ugly looking people console themselves. It is the truth, but a hurtful truth, that the ugly, fat looking people have to go through every day.” “Oh come on Kunal there is nothing like that. Looks do not matter.” “Do you really think that? Your cell phone, you buy it because it LOOKS classy in your hand. It is an expensive brand.  A small example, which shows LOOKS do matter. You want to flaunt your phone because it is so good looking and so modern, had it been anything else you would have kept it inside your handbag. You are so well dressed, so perfect of course you may not have intended that but still you flaunt your beautiful face, body, and hair because you are confident enough people will give you attention. You carry a handbag that suits your personality and it goes with your dress too. We humans, we are surrounded by the LOOK-ORIENTED thought process that we want it perfect even in the smallest of our daily things. We will not touch something that looks dirty or ugly it is a basic human mentality to be attracted to the best of looks immediately. There are nearly 10 boys in this canteen right now staring at you and thinking ‘what’s such a beautiful girl doing with this stupid fatty uncle? Must be he is her elder brother, or even worst if he is her boyfriend she surely has a bad choice. If he is not her boyfriend and not her elder brother then there is one possibility he is her husband. If he is her husband I must say he is lucky to have such a beautiful girl.” “Girl! Wow thanks for the compliment.” I smiled, “Frankly you have not aged even a bit, you still look very beautiful and just like a college going girl.” “I am flattered HEADACHE. But I still believe LOOKS do not matter.” “That is because you have not let me make my point.” “Oh sorry go ahead.” “The point is you are getting all the attention. However, I can bet on this and even win the bet that none of the girls is looking at me at all. Forget the attention; they are not even curious to know why I am sitting here with such a beautiful girl. I am not at all important to them by any chance.” She looked at me. “You have lost all the confidence that you once had.” “There you go. You are wrong about it. I have all the confidence I once had also I am not being negative. I am just being practical and stating the truth. A truth that, everyone knows deep down, but very few, accept. People will want to know you if and only if you look attractive. Once they get attracted to your looks, they will be happily ready to spend time with you and after knowing you, they will love you for what you are. I am excluding friendship from this because it is the only relation where it has to do with the person not the looks. That is the reason why you are sitting with me here and we are such good friends. In fact, we are best friends. You know me very well and I know you very well. We respect and adore each other and we know that in times of despair we would be there for each other even if the whole world turns away from us. However, Love is a different thing. I am specifically talking about a male female relationship. Many other forms of love do not have to do anything with the looks. One such example is our mothers. They love us even before they have seen us. The moment we are in their wombs every second they love us. Even when they scold us, they love us. I will not be getting into that right now. I however, have made my point clear. Looks do matter when we choose a partner.” “I have seen many of our friends settled with people who do not have good looks. Do you think they are foolish or their relationship won’t last?” “Foolish? No not at all, they are very smart. Those girls got married to these people for one thing PROFIT/BENEFIT/MONEY. It is yet another factor ruling the decision. Yes, the future of their relationships depends on the inflow of these three things in their lives. It can be in any form though. The moment there would be some crisis you will see all the love thrown out of the window.” “Yeah I read that article of yours explaining how success is important. It was on the same terms I guess.” “Somewhat, however, not completely on the same terms.” After having done with our meal, I greeted Anna once again and took leave. While going out I even met the security guard. I had made friends with him when I was at college. I greeted him. When I had come, he was not in the security cabin. However, now he had come back I felt good to meet him. We walked out of college. On the lane of college, there was a dosa centre. We generally use to hang around there after college. The owner of the centre had become friends with me, he use to enjoy my pranks I also met him. On my way in, I had noticed he was not there and his assistant was there. I was overwhelmed to meet these people. On the other end of the lane there was a PCO booth well what can I say I had made friends with the operator there too. It was just fun. They still remembered me with the same name everyone in college use to call me with, ‘PATRA’ it was just amazing to hear that name once again. It was as if I had become younger by 10 years. After meeting everyone and greeting everyone, we walked towards the beach that was exactly behind our college. The beach had many memories too. We use to play cricket there, we use to just sit and chill out there. Many times it was the perfect destinations to discuss issues and for a writer what more could be delightful than sitting at the beach and enjoying the breeze. It was fun to be there. Sitting there the conversation moved ahead. “Kunal but then looks can be changed right, for example, a fatty can become slim, and ugly looking person can compensate it with proper dressing sense and manners and etiquettes. So how come looks are so important.” “Nice point here. A fat person can become slim and look attractive, true, but is it so important to look slim or is it important to be a nice person all together. Tell me one thing. Your husband is a very handsome man. Will you divorce him if he goes bald, or becomes fat, say he gains 30 kgs weight he becomes fat and plump, so will you divorce him? Will you be ashamed to accept that he is your husband? He is the same person you got married to, the same person you loved with all your heart. Will you feel awkward to introduce him to your friends? Will you divorce him? I believe if a person has manners and etiquettes then he or she can never be termed as ugly at all.” She did get my point. “What is the solution to all this then? I know like always you have a trick up your sleeve as a solution to all this.” I was now smiling, it was a myth at college that I always had a solution to every problem and yes, as she said even today I had a solution to this. I had been living upon this solution since years now. “Yes I do. The solution is very simple. First, accept what you are and be happy with it and the second is THE GRAPES ARE SOUR theory. Even though you love a very beautiful girl or a boy, do not even think about asking them out. This will avoid you all the unwanted heartaches and sorrow. They may keep repeating to you that you are very important to you and they may even go out of their ways to do things for you but that does not mean that they will love you. If they do, do not miss the opportunity of holding their hands, because, they are the best kind of people, who love you, even with all your flaws. Try to find someone of your league. If you are fat find someone who is fat, they will exactly know how you feel and live. Simple.” “You said looks are important. Do fat and ugly people have no urge to have someone attractive in their lives? After all, they are human aren’t they? How can you just put up such a harsh solution? This is not at all a solution. It is just running away from the situation.” “I never said fat and ugly people are not humans. They also have this urge of having someone attractive in their lives. In fact, psychologically speaking they are more inclined to this urge because they know they are not attractive they look for that perfection in their partner. That satisfies them mentally. They have been the centre of each look-oriented joke and some day they think if someone attractive is their partner they will be the centre of adoration. This is the most practical way I can put it to you.” “What about feelings? Are they not at all important?” “Feelings, nature, thought process all these things cannot be seen, they can only be felt. However, people do not even want to sit and chat with a ugly looking person, so there is no way they would know that person, the thought process of that person and not even the nature of that person. Take the example of the canteen today. There was a group of people sitting one corner not enjoying like the others, they were low on confidence as they were looked down every day. Three among them were very fat, 2 were having a dark skin colour, 1 was a total nerdy looking creature with soda glasses. These will always be in one corner throughout their lives even though they may be the best of people in nature, intelligence and feelings. They will first not mix up with people and slowly become unknown to the world. When we were kids there was a famous movie ‘Mr. India’, they will exactly be the Mr.Indias. Even though, they will be present in the room, but the world will ignore them. Therefore, I guess things are not that important. To me, if someone says ‘you know what Kunal for me looks are not important’ I would rule that person out as stupid and impractical, someone who is surrounded by fairy tales and romantic novels like Twilight Saga stuff  because, they are just speaking out dialogues right out of a fairy tale. In the real life there is nothing like this. The judgement on your talents, skills etc comes on a later stage. The judgement on your appearance comes first. I will give a small example, when people look at a fat person the first thing they have in mind is that fat people are stupid and very funny people. The fact is we are funny because we know the world is going to make fun of us so we have learnt to laugh at ourselves and make people laugh along with us. We are also humans like others we also have our sad days. We also feel the urge of getting loved by someone but all the world can see is jokers in us.” “I know you very well Kunal, you do not feel bad about it right?”  I started laughing hearing this. “I am not at all concerned of what people think about me I hell care about it. I am everyone’s joker and no one’s heartthrob I know that but nor does it bother me neither does it make me sad. I am happy as I am. I am a wise man and a wise man is not bothered about such stupid stuff in life. I focus on a higher calling in life. I do not bother my brain with such petty stuff.” She was now smiling. The friend she had known was still that confident idiot who was not bothered about stupid things in world. “Do you think your ex broke up somewhere because of the looks.” “To some extent, yes, however, I do not want to get into it please.” “So don’t you have an urge to have someone in your life again?” She kept intently looking at me after asking this waiting for an answer. “I told you THE GRAPES ARE SOUR my friend. THE GRAPES ARE SOUR. For me, I will never have such an urge I have taught myself this lesson very carefully that I am not worth it. Not being negative or degrading myself or anything just being practical and being focused on a higher motive of life.” We sat there in silence for a while. I then changed the topic. I made the aura around us a little lighter and funny. Finally, I bid her good bye. She hugged me. “Promise me you will be in touch you idiot stupid HEADACHE. I would not want the HEADACHE to disappear now for years.” “I would be in touch after all I am always in need of my best friends.” I know there will be many who would disagree with me putting forth all the pathetic melodramatic flimsy reasons in front of me. I do not mind to explain stuff to such people. After all, my brain loves challenges. However, the truth remains, THE GRAPES ARE SOUR.